FIRST TIME TRAVELLING BY BUS

Assalamualaikum wbt.

            Dah lama tak menulis disini. Kebetulan ada masa terluang, boleh update blog. Bila lama tak menulis memang kaku idea nak tulis topik apa. HAHA! Entry ni hanya nak sebut pasal Ammar je. Sebab rindu sangat kat dia. Today is the 4th day Ammar was away from me, maybe for 10 days as agreed. Because his biological father has been worked at Singapore, I pray he will send ammar sooner.

            Last week, I brought Ammar back to the hometown. To visit his forever-love-grandma. Ammar called her as Tokma. Unfortunately, my husband cannot came along with us due to his work’s commitment. So, its okay! Therefore, I asked him to let me drive back to hometown alone with Ammar since he couldn’t make it, but as expected, he didn’t allowed. Ok, fine! The choice that I had was to travel by bus. To be honest, that was the first time I was traveled with Ammar by bus, just the two of us and I was a bit worried that I couldn’t handle him well by all myself. A travelling back was smoothly without any drama. Ammar also seems so excited when I told him that he will meet his Tokma, aunties and Tokbah soon. “Jumpa tokma, jumpa tok abah, Cik Isya, Cik Su.” And he said it repeatedly until he fell asleep.

            My family has been waited for his coming so many weeks to our home sweet home. Eerrr, or months since July that he not came back, maybe? They were came to Kuantan last Eidul Adha. Around end of August and now end of october. How much they missed ammar only Allah knows. Ammar grew up with them since three-months-old due circumstances that happened to his ummi’s life until  recently. So how come they are not miss him too much. Me, myself, cannot see Ammar for a few days pun dah nak meroyan. Since I took leave for 4 days and skip my class that weekend, I satisfied. It was like I lighted again my family's home and brought their joyful back to its place. :’) Day 1 and 2 nothing much we done at kampung. Just being chilled here and there, hang out with my family members and such.

            Day 3, my mom had events (perkhemahan tahunan) for her PPKI’s students, and need to stay over for 3 days and 2 nights at Pantai Telong. So she brought us along for two days and a night because she doesn’t want to be apart with his too-much-love-grandson. HAHA! Oh, Ammar choosed his Tokma rather than me (heartbroken-ummi), so he much more clingy to his Tokma and followed her around during the activities. So ummi chill je lah, tenangkan jiwa, tenangkan hati, menikmati keindahan alam. HAHA! Pantai Telong situated at the Bachok, near the well-known Melawi Beach. Pantai Telong was famous with the resorts and its white crystal sands. I always amazed with the beauty of Terengganu's beach and I don't think any beach could bet their beauty but Pantai Telong had made me realized, my perception was totally wrong. There's a beauty beach in Kelantan.

            Day 4, our bus scheduled on 11.00 PM at Melor’s bus station. Seriously, Ammar did a drama! He knew well that he will leave his tokma, dia menyorok dalam bilik tokma dia. I was pujuk him berkali-kali agar ikut ummi. Then, he doesn't want heard, memang berhempas pulas nak dukung dia masuk kereta. Siap tumbuk-tumbuk lagi muka ummi, anak lelaki kan. Sigh. He doesn’t want to leave the place where he belong. But ummi does not belong there Ammar, my heart don’t belong there. My heart was broke into the pieces, the responbilities to my family just only the reason left why i still come back. That’s why I tried my best untuk pulang menziarahi mereka. Hence, we have papa that have been waited for us, love us eternally. We need to live beside him. And the most important thing, Kuantan was the place for me to make a living. I was happy in Kuantan. There’s nothing to worry, there’s nothing to be annoyed.

            To be honest, I was cried along with Ammar on that night during my way to bus station. I was so sad to bring ammar with me to Kuantan which I know my mom was suffered for being apart with Ammar. But he is my son. I cannot live without him. I cannot imagine how I could live without him beside me again. I was apart from him since he was three-months-old and I don’t want us to be apart again. I want to raise him like all the parents should do, love him like tomorrow-is-the-last day-I-will-be-alived. Memory for being apart with my son was the worst memory ever.

EXCUSE ME! Why I need to write about that-worst-memory? (annoy face here)

            Okay, back on track, I tried my best to won his heart. He cried, he kept yelled on me that he doesn’t want to ride the bus. And I confronted him repeatedly. I told him that this wasn’t good attitude to his mom. He must talk nicely to his mom since “syurga dibawah tapak kaki ibu.” HAHA! I don’t care if he doesn’t understand but my responsibility to advise him, he is my son though. He threw me his tantrum, I kept on told myself, “be patience, this will be end very soon” and this word repeatedly in my brain. Just to make sure I don’t scold him or his tantrum become worst. HAHA! So, the solution that I took was, gave my phone to him and let him saw his favourite cartoons on the you tube channel. OMG, this was really GEN Z. I felt that night was really adventure guys! Really-really adventure to handle his tantrum alone. Biasa ada papa yang handle. HAHA!

            After he calmed down, I was sighed so many times. It’s really hard travelling alone with Ammar by bus. I just felt so tired and want to cry again. Unfortunately, I was suffered with my gastric pain on that time, but I need to be strong. I kept told myself I was such a strong woman. No need to cry anymore. HAHA! After half an hour of waiting, the bus was come and we seated at our place. And Ammar threw his tantrum again. But not too noisy. Because there’s a lot of people hahaha! Maybe, he shamed? HAHA! He wanted to cry and I quickly gave his bottle’s milk to drink. HAHA! A few minutes later he fell asleep. Fuhhh, I  was sooooo blessed. 

Till then, XOXO